Dear Dick,

Dear Dick,

Can you quit being a dick?  Please?

Don’t give me the funny looks when you get home from work and I am sitting at the kitchen table, painting.  It’s my job.  I know it’s 3 o’clock, but you know what?  Most days I don’t pick up a paint brush until after lunch.  Yesterday it was after 2.  And that’s why I painted until 9 pm.

Sorry I didn’t watch tv with you.  But haven’t you noticed?  I never do.  You think you are funny.  You think every comment you make about anything is just hilarious.  Know what?  They’re not.  They are tiresome.

Each comment you make about anything you see on tv or hear on the radio, they aren’t funny.  They are tiresome.  I am tired of hearing them.  You say them so much, I tune them out.  I tune you out.  They make me weary.  Weary of dealing with your skewed view of life.  Your thinly veiled bigotry.  Your attitude that I am right, the whole world is fucking stupid.

And so, I bury myself in my work.  I am lucky that I can do that.  And especially this time of year, I HAVE to.  So just leave me alone and be quiet.  No one thinks you’re funny….heh, especially your girls.

Haven’t you noticed that Youngest spends all her time in her room now?  We’ve talked about it.  It’s because you are no fun and are on her back about little things. And say things that are just totally inappropriate for a 13yo to hear.  Not swearing, but worse…racial comments.

And Oldest hasn’t called you in ages?  That’s cause you don’t really take much of an interest in her life.  It’s sad.  She is bright and beautiful.  But she doesn’t want to get an earful of your take on life.  I don’t blame her.

So please, be quiet.  Think about what you are saying (I know you won’t).  You aren’t influencing us to join your point of view, you are just making us wish you would go away.  Is that what you really want?

Glummum

Thanksgiving is Next Week

So I found out this afternoon Thanksgiving is next week.  Holy crap.  I thought it was the week after that.  I mean, I knew the date and all, but I never put 2 and 2 together.   So that about freaks me out.

This morning I went shopping for a couple hours.  That was before I found out Thanksgiving is next week.  I would not have gone if I had known beforehand.  I should have stayed home working.  At the very least I could have bought some food for next week.

I’ve got orders coming out the wazzoo and keep thinking I have more time to do them than I really do.  Maybe that’s called denial?  *sigh*  Oh, and my family is coming over for Thanksgiving dinner next week.  Not my mother, if you were wondering.  She’s in FL w/o my dad (who will be here) and still isn’t talking to me (I like it that way).

Tomorrow I will be buckling down and painting my arse off.  And continuing to do that for the next month.  If ya got any spare time and want to help, LMK

Tuesday Morning

Just some time for a quick post.  Seems my holiday rush started this weekend.  It is time for me to spend every walking moment with a brush in my hand.

This past saturday, after the craft show, D dog was growling at S dog and I went to back hand her.  She moved and I stoved my index finger on my right hand.  It swelled up like a sausage and turned pretty colors and was a wee bit sore.  It’s getting better now, but I thought I’d share that.  Never back hand your dog unless you know you won’t miss and hit the bottom of the couch.

Went to the new dr. yesterday.  He’s very nice.  And knowledgable.  And young.  *sigh*  Jeez, I remember when dr.s were always older than me.  Then they were the same age.  Now they are younger.  I guess I’m that old.

Weighed in at 112 fully dressed.  Which was what I expected.  I knew I gained a lb over the weekend from eating whatever I felt like.  This is a bad time of year for me.  I don’t like to take the time to eat a proper meal.  I need quick.  And now I’d like healthy.  Gonna have to work on that….no stress eating, no stress eating, no stress eating.  Yep, it’s gonna be tough.

Anyway, I’m fine.  And healthy.  What’s funny is I haven’t had any major mood swings or depression since my gyney appt.  And it seems my hot flashes and night sweats stopped about a week and half ago.  Anyone know if that is normal?  Will they be back?  Or can I hope that they are over????  That would be awesome.

And I better get going…..lots to do today.  And I promised Youngest I would pick her up at school and take her directly to the mall to get (no, not clothes)….the new Star Trek movie.  She has been counting down the days for a month.  I just love her

Saturday Night

Well, I got crap done today.  Oh well, I don’t like working on weekends anyway.  Just means I will have to work hard tomorrow (sunday) and the rest of the week.  I am trying hard to stay caught up for now.  It won’t be long before I am behind and under pressure to get things out for Christmas.  Again, oh well.

Oddly, I don’t feel stressed about it today.  I’m like in a que sera, sera mood.  Whatever will be, will be.  I suppose that mood will pass.  As soon as Dick comes home.  It is so nice and stressless when he is not here.  Me and Youngest just do our own thing.   And relax…..I suppose he will be home tomorrow.  I hope after the football game.

Went to a craft show today with favorite aunt.  Didn’t buy much, but it was fun to look around.  Lots of cute things, but I didn’t need them.  Sort of gets me in the Christmas mood.  I guess.

Today I finished my favorite playlist on my ipod and it was time to start Christmas music : )  Youngest says I started last year in October, but I don’t remember.  I love Christmas music.  It soothes my soul.   Chills me out.  And I’m not talking holiday music like Rudolph or Frosty, but real Christmas music where they sing about….Jesus.

I have over 1000 songs on my ipod.  Over 200 are Christmas songs : )  My favorite group for Christmas music is B E Taylor.  Just awesome arrangements.  Seriously.  Look them up on itunes if you need some inspiration.

Feels like I could ramble on forever this evening….but then I might bore you and lose my 3 or 4 readers.  Maybe I will just sit back and relax……and do nothing, for a change : )

Commenting on Comments and Stuff

My belly is flabby because it lacks muscle.  It is just there, jiggling around.  Someday I will work on it.  Maybe.  Until then, I have undergarments that will keep it under control

Today is a beautiful day and I finally got up off my butt and out the door.  S-dog and I went for a quick 1 mile walk.  Would have liked to walk longer, but I really don’t have the time.  So down the big hill we went, and back up.  Felt good, plus we got to see a buck run across the road ahead of us.

I did go to get apples today.  Again, a nice day for a drive.  I am becoming an apple connoisseur.  My apple of choice is the Jonathon.  Crisp and a little tart, with a thin skin.  When I buy my Jonathons, I get one odd apple to eat in the car.  So I can try a new variety.

So far I’ve had a Macintosh, not a bad apple, a good substitute when I can’t find Jonathons.  Honey Crisp, very crispy, but lacking in flavor.  Thumbs down on that one.  Had Gala the other day.  It was so-so.  Won’t buy another unless that is all there is.  Today I had a Cameo.  Never heard of that variety….it was YUMMY.  Crisp and tart, full of flavor.  If it weren’t for its thick skin, it might be my apple of choice.  But I will buy a couple more next time I am at the farm market.

Looking to be a nice weekend….Dick is away hunting.  Yay.  I know I should want to spend time with him, but I don’t.  He makes it so hard.  I can’t stand watching tv with him.  He makes comments about everything…..plot line, actors, skin color.  None of it is funny.  Ever.  Persoanlly, I don’t care that much about characters on tv shows.  They aren’t REAL.  I just watch for entertainment purposes and that’s it.  I end up leaving the room when he’s got the tv on….it’s not right, but it’s my life.

And he NEVER hears me.  Never.  Argh, it is SO frustrating.  We got tickets to go to a concert with Youngest.  It is the sunday after Thanksgiving.  When most guys are at buck camp, drinking til they puke.  Whooppee.  I told him it was that night.  3 times.  He still wanted to go to the concert.

He asked me again last night when it was.  Holy crap, don’t you ever hear me????  And when I told him, he said the sunday after Thanksgiving???  Like it was a complete surprise to him.  And maybe he can’t make it…..asshole.  I’ll take the girls and go myself.  Life is easier, more relaxed and less stressful without you anyway.

Enough of that rant, here’s to a calm, peaceful and enjoyable weekend.  Life is good, for now.

Thursday Thoughts

So today I have no where to go.  Yay.  I could use a day of just staying home and working.  Or, I could run out to the farmer’s market and get some apples.

I’ve been eating an apple a day and I am almost out.  But, the farmer’s market that has the really great apples is 30 minutes away.  And isn’t near any other store I need to go to.  It is way out of the way.  Maybe I’ll just get a shower and decide.

I’ve been lazy lately.  Well, lazy in that I have not been walking or using my stepper.  Argh.  I need to get back into it.  I just have so much else to do, that gets put off until….until the end of the day when I am exhausted and ready for bed.  I need something to get me going again….

I’ve been maintaining my weight the past month or so.  Sticking in the 107 range.  I eat pretty much whatever I want, but I watch my portions and I don’t eat junk all day long like a I used to.  Feel pretty good about that.

Still have a flabby belly…..someday I will get motivated to tighten that up.  Maybe for next summer.  Then I can be 48 and wearing a bikini.  LOLOL.  Don’t worry, I am not THAT brave.  And I really have no desire to bare all that skin.

I guess I’d just feel better if I was in a little better physical condition.  Yes, I will tackle that in the new year.  I have no time now, and I don’t need the added stress this time of year.  Be a good new years resolution.  I don’t usually do those, but maybe that will give me the kick I need.  We’ll see.

Guess I’ll get my shower and get my day started.  And see if I go for apples or not.  Great game, Apples to Apples.  If you’ve never played it, you should.   It’s a board/card game.  Great for families and groups.  An easy,  no brainer type of game.  That’s why we like it

Tag, I’m It

I was tagged by Sweetiegirlz…..I never do these, but I thought, why not.  No one out there knows who I am anyway…..besides, a lot of her answers work for me : )

1. Where is your cell phone?   Purse

2. Your hair? Dark, curly, unruly, bad

3. Your mother? Difficult, self centered, mean

5. Your favorite food? pizza

6. Your dream last night? strange vacation dream…..

7. Your favorite drink? diet dr. pepper

8. Your dream/goal? that my girls grow up to be happy and healthy

9. What room are you in? living room

10. Your hobby? no hobby

11. Your fear? kids get hurt

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? here

13. Where were you last night? Home

14. Something that you aren’t? outgoing

15. Muffins? choc chip

16. Wish list item? laptop

17. Where did you grow up? pa

18. Last thing you did? scrunched my hair

19. What are you wearing? jeans and t shirt

20. Your TV? medium

21. Your pets? Dogs & cat

22. Friends? maybe

23. Your life? okay

24. Your mood? Sick

25. Missing someone? Daughter

26. Vehicle? sedona

27. Something you’re not wearing? jewelry

28. Your favorite store? don’t have one

29. Your favorite color? purple

30. When was the last time you laughed? this morning

31. Last time you cried? October

32. Your best friend? what’s a best friend?

33. One place that I go to over and over? walmart

34. One person who emails me regularly? No one

35. Favorite place to eat? no favorite.  I’ll eat anywhere if I don’t have to cook.

I’m supposed to tag 6 people now.  But since I don’t have 6 readers, I’ll tag Sravanthi and Yeve Eeffoc.  But only if you want to do it…..

Stuff

So my minivan is fixed.  They came and took it away monday night (after Dick talked to them.  They wanted ME to drive it an hour away to the dealer.  Yeah…) and called 10 am tuesday morning to tell me it was finis.  Yeah man….I hitched a ride  with my SIL who lives down there and  happens to be at my house once a week, and I picked up my car.

Whilst I was down in that shopping area of the suburbs, I went shopping   I went to Gabriels.  If you don’t have a Gabriels, I feel sorry for you.  They sell good stuff, cheap.  Mostly clothes, some shoes and home furnishings.  I guess they buy seconds, and overstocks, etc…

I bought 4 pairs of jeans (that fit.  yay!), 2 tops, a toy that will be a Christmas present, a bag of m&m’s and some other snacks….all for only $56.00.  I was psyched!  Now I have jeans I won’t have to wear a belt with   I am a cheap good shopper, huh?

Seems I am settling into a routine for the fall.  Not sure I like it, but it’s what’s working for me.  I do everything in the morning, except pick up a paint brush.  I do paper work, housework, computer stuff.  I end up doing all that before lunch.    Some days it takes all day.  Yuk.

Then sometime around lunchtime I pick up a paint brush and start painting.  I’d say I start working, but I actually have been working all morning, it just doesn’t seem productive.  The only problem with starting to paint late is that I end up painting/working until 9pm.  I don’t like working that late, but it is that time of year and is to be expected.  I guess.

Another reason I do computer work early is because Youngest has started needing the computer every day afterschool for homework.  And we only have one computer.  I’d still rather do my computer work later in the day, but homework trumps my work.

It’s okay, I’m getting used to sitting here for hours every morning….wish some of you *cough, cough* posted on your blogs more often (not you sweetiegirlz : ) and would give me something to read once in a while.  Makes my morning more interesting.

I better get moving….need to get to the store this morning, and then catch up on what needs caught up on, before I paint a little bit and then have to leave to get Youngest at school.  Looks like it will be another late night of painting.  *sigh*

The Good and The Bad

Today I just want to crawl back in bed.  I can’t, but I want to.  I wonder, do I feel like this every monday?  I’ll have to check my past posts…..

My weekend was a conglomerate of good and bad.  I want to say it sucked, but not all of it did.  I would have written about some of it as it happened, but our friggin’ internet was out most of saturday and then again on sunday.  I hate consolidated.  I do have an online business and I NEED my internet to be WORKING.  All the time.  Not just sometimes.  Argh.

Anyway, my weekend went like this…..

thursday I found out Oldest was going to break up with her boyfriend.  She was okay with it, so I am okay with it.

Oh and Dick has stayed on day shift.

friday, she did break up with him.  She’s still okay.

saturday, I took Youngest to school at 6:45 am to leave for the 8th grade class trip to DC.  She was SO excited.

I knew I had plans for sunday, so I decided to go to saturday evening mass.  I thought I was going by myself, but Dick came with.  That was nice.

He wanted to go to dinner afterwards, fine, but on the way, my 6 month old minivan died.  He got it restarted and we got it home, but shit.  It’s NEW.  I ate at home.

He had to run out and get potato salad for his stupid, asinine horseshoe team banquet that was sunday.  He ate out then.  Whatever.  Then when he got home, and was adding extras to his store bought potato salad, he asked why I didn’t have things chopped and ready t go for him when he got home.  Most wives would have offered to make it for him.  Yep, that’s what he said.  After about a bazillion thoughts ran through my head (like, you and your queer horseshoe buddys can’t possibly care wtf you eat after you drink beer out of a hose….you’re an asshole.)  I calmly said, I am not that  kind of wife.  And if you wanted me to do something you should-have-told-me.  Screw you asshole.  Okay, I thought that last part.  Anyway, so much for the good vibes from going to church together.

Sunday started out good.  And actually, stayed mostly good.

Oh, I forgot, I told him he would have to pick up Youngest at school sunday night because I wouldn’t have a car.  And he would have his at his “banquet”.  He said, I’ll tell my sister to get her.  OMG, you mean you can’t leave your party that you have been at for 5 hours to pick up your daughter?????  Of course not.  Friends before family.

Anyway, back to sunday.  I headed up to school to see oldest with my Favorite Aunt (FA).  FA had to drive, because I had no car.  She didn’t mind…..she’s cool with everything.  We went to the outlets first, because shopping is good for the soul, and then went to see Oldest and take her to dinner.  All good there.  I got to spend time with 2 of my fave people : )

Then I got home to find no stinkin internet again.  Argh.  It was a couple hours before Youngest needed picked up, so I did a little of this and a little of that.  Again, I would have been here, but no internet.  Lo and behold, Dick came home early from his banquet.  He had been drinking and wanted me to have a car to pick up Youngest because he didn’t think he should.  Good thinking.  He probably shouldn’t have even driven home.  Whatever.

So I picked up Youngest from school when they finally go there.  She had an okay time on the trip.  They had bus trouble and were running behind and really got pushed through their intinerary.  But she took lots of pictures and got a couple souvenirs.  She took her memory card from my camera and showed me the pics on the pc.  She had some really nice shots.  I had thought about posting a couple here, but…..

But then she put the card back in the camera to transfer a couple pictures from the internal memory.  It asked her if she wanted to format the card, I was saying press cancel and she was pressing yes, and she lost EVERYTHING.  She had last years’ trip to gettysburg on thei card too.  And her music files that she would listen too.  It was all gone.  I know she was heartsick.  I was heartsick for her.  I still am sad about…..

I hope her day at school is going okay.  I hope her friends will make her smile today.  I hope she feels a little better when she gets home.  I wish I could wave my magic wand and put all her files back on the memory card……*sigh*

And that was my weekend.  I have to talk to Dick today to see how the heck we are going to get my van to the dealer.  I called them, and they did not offer to pick it up.  We live 30 minutes away from the closest dealer, and I know the car won’t make it.  I think I’ll let Dick talk to them when he gets home from work.  Maybe they will listen to him.  I dunno…..

Holy cow, this got to be a longer post than I had intended.  Guess I had some stuff to say….now I better get some work done while I have internet access.

Morning Ramble

Okay, I am gonna write something and post it and not leave my dashboard empty.

Feels like I got a little sleep last night.  I don’t feel near as tired as I did yesterday.  Maybe I can get motivated then to get things done.  And maybe even take a walk, even though it is frickin cold outside.

Woke up with a stuffy head.  Could barely breathe, but could smell enough to notice something didn’t smell right.  Apparently there was a skunk somewhere last night.  Hopefully he isn’t dead on the road, and just walked through our yard.   And Hopefully he is gone.

Will be home til just after lunch today.  It is fundraiser day at school and I have to go in to hand out the hoagies for a while.  Then it is cello lesson.  Then I think we will stop by Grandma’s, then come home.  We’ll see what I can get done in the morning.  I really need to do laundry, so I guess that is a good place to start.

I’m really glad I woke up feeling somewhat rested and not totally exhausted like yesterday.  Makes a huge difference in how my day goes.

The other morning there was a gorgeous sunrise.  One of those ones where you just know there is a God.  I took a picture, but of course, it didn’t do it justice.  Not even close.  So I tried a little photoshop and this is pretty close.  We have a great view out our living room window.

Oh, and just so you don’t think my blog is all happy cheerful now, Dick told me last night he is tossing aroound the idea of going back to night shift.  He has until this afternoon to go back to his old shift.  Crap.  Seems he HATES the job he gets on daylight, but loves the job he gets on night shift.

Just these past couple days he has been on daylight he has been easier to live with.  He seems to be more relaxed and just generally happier.  I don’t feel like I am going to get my head bit off every time I open my mouth.  He was even joking with youngest yesterday.

Guess it comes down to unhappy at work, happy at home vs. happy at work, unhappy at home.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hoping he chooses us over work.  You just never know…..